Extraordinary Tuesday: Two For Tuesday

Welcome to "Two For Tuesday" a post every Tuesday for us Extraordinary Mothers on how we deal and cope with motherhood, the pains, angst's, joys, and triumphs. As a mother of twins and a singleton I know all too well the "two" sides to each coin, our children and ourselves and how to find answers and balance. 

The most important balance any mother can find is time. Mothers, women, we all never can seek out, buy, earn, or find enough time to spend with our children, our husbands, and of course, ourselves. While caring for others, our children, our homes, we often forget an individual who needs as much tender, loving care, the mom. We are so wrapped into our jobs that we forget to eat by chance, we forget or do not take advantage of that nap while the kids are napping because laundry is calling, we forget or simply do not take the time for ourselves to have what I like to call "Me Time."


Me Time is set aside either everyday, once a week, once a month, however frequent or often you want to take time to yourself. This time can be used to take a hot bath, eat a hot meal without cutting up others meals, a walk alone, a drive alone, time out with the girls, time out alone. Period. During your time you are to spend the time alone, no kids. Why? Moms need time to recharge, to take a break, our personal time out to spend as we so desire.

No skepticism is allowed. No excuses. No "but"s. In the event you are worried your husband may scoff and humph at your request, please remind him of his laundry that is folded neatly, remind him he has time in the car on the drive home, ALONE, remind him motherhood is just as much a job and requires a hiatus., just as his working job allows for vacation time. Even if the hiatus is for short intervals daily, weekly, or monthly, a lot of recharging can happen for mom. You earned this time so take it!

I am a firm believer in Me Time because during that time I can reconnect with myself. I can breathe. I can relax. I can do for myself! My Me Time is every night, I go for a jog, 30 minutes I jog. I have freedom to think, to relax, to do something for myself. My Me Time is once a month for my twin mom meeting, we have our monthly meetings and then have cocktails afterward. My Me Time can really be anytime I want. Even when my husband is home and relaxing I will ask him to keep an eye on the kids and I will take a bath, uninterrupted, locked door. Bliss. I have also been known to just get in the car and go for a drive, even if to run a simple errand I will go, child free, just to have a free moment.

I think Me Time is especially important because we simply cannot be good, healthy, loving mothers without a break and or reprieve. We begin to feel frustrated. We pent up our anger, our angsts from the day, the negativity that lies in caring for our homes, our family, our children day-in and day-out. Children take a personal toll  on mothers with diaper changes, temper tantrums, naps, cleaning messes, fights, meals, laundry, more messes, potty training, the day is filled with enough chaos to instill hysteria and lunacy in a once sane woman.

If we are able to take small breaks, Me Time, on occasion we will appreciate our children, and we will find harmony again where we will ward off ill feelings. We will appreciate our husbands. We will appreciate ourselves as mothers and not carry anger, frustration, and negative emotions that can lead to negative actions and repercussions. In fact take the time to pamper yourself if you want, try to do something different in your Me Time like grabbing a cup of coffee, eating out with friends or alone, go see a movie.


Remember that you can also take Me Time if you are home all the time with the children and your husband and or significant other are gone or work quite often, or say you are a single mom, you can take advantage of your Me Time while being home. Watch your favorite show. Read a book. Take a nap. If you even have a child that WILL NOT cooperate and you have rocked, bathed, fed, burped, changed, the whole nine yards, put them in their crib or bed and take a moment and walk away. Go outside. Take deep breaths. As mothers we DO NOT always have to hold or deal with our children when we do not know what else to do even if consoling is not working. Take a quick Me Time even if you think about a happy thought or moment, by taking that split second you can find center again for just a moment. In that moment you can go back to your child that much more relaxed and able to console or find a solution for them at that moment.

We are not given manuals when we bring home our pretty new baby, so we learn by trial and error. We do the best we can everyday with the tools we are given. Just remember YOU have to be healthy before your baby or children can be healthy and happy as well. What do you do for your Me Time? How will you spend your Me Time? What else can we do for ourselves to help find balance?