Extraordinary Tuesdays: Two For Tuesday

Welcome to "Two For Tuesday" a post every Tuesday for us Extraordinary Mothers on how we deal and cope with motherhood, the pains, angst's, joys, and triumphs. I am Karie of The Five Fish and as a mother of twins and a singleton I know all too well the "two" sides to each coin, our children and ourselves and how to find answers and balance.

This week we might venture into the other side of being a mother, we were always a woman before mothers. And before being a mother, some (or all of us) are wives. Now to balance the wife and woman, how else to do that but to spend time with the man we love, the man who fathered our children, and what better way to keep the flame hot is date night.

Now date night is not the typical date night; calling in a babysitter, making reservations, arrangements, getting dressed up and then leaving our children with someone else, family, and then spending the night worrying, maybe spending too much money just for a few hours or peace.


Date night is what we make it. Have a date night at home, after the kids go to sleep or have a date night with the kids, celebrate the family. Creating a date night with our spouse and or significant other does not have to be a grand event. However, we often resort to leaving the house as a retreat, feeling alive, young, enjoying the "adult" life often missed while tackling the business the parenthood on a daily basis.

The date is merely a way to reconnect, to find the passion, the love, the communication that brought one another together. By setting the mood at home a few things are accomplished:

1. Our children see that we still have a loving, healthy, communicable relationship
2. We can still connect in our own home and do not need to "escape" the confines of our walls to keep up the old "love and feeling"
3. Money savings. The money saved by not hiring a sitter or paying for an expensive meal
4. A date can even include our children to embrace the love shared to what brought us to be parents.

Keeping the love alive helps maintain a relationship, prevents the "wandering" heart per se, and we as mothers do not get sucked into treating the man we love like the additional child in the home.
(Please nod ladies, we have all done this at one time or another)

Some ideas of a date night could be watching a movie and cuddling together on the couch, maybe a bottle of wine and talking about anything, a board game together, making a special dinner, playing music and dancing around the house, or maybe a late night rendezvous in the house to play like love struck youngsters again. The idea of a picnic in your backyard, the kitchen table, or even in front of the fireplace. Get creative, have fun, but be sure that each person sets up the date night each time you wish to have one. This shows initiative on the others part to keep the love alive, continuing to build on the relationship, and one does not feel like they are doing all the work all the time.

What any good couples counselor will suggest is the time together. Quality time. Focus on the positive characteristics that brought one another together. What still attracts you? What common interests do you still share even after having children? What interests can be shared with the children?

What are some things you do with your man to keep the love alive? What do you do for date night? Even if you go out, what do you do to not lose your "love and feeling?"