Extraordinary Tuesday: Two for Tuesday

Welcome everyone to Two for Tuesday. I am Karie from The Five Fish and I post every Tuesday about parenting discussions and how we can balance out the role being a parent and being an individual as well as finding a balance with ourselves and with our children.

Listen. Have you heard yourself telling your children, "Did you hear me?" We are so worried about ensuring that our children hear what we have to say, careful that they do not hear what they are not suppose to hear. All the while are we completely listening to them, are we really listening to them?

Communication is key in any relationship. The relationship with ourselves, our spouses or significant others, and most of all our children. Having an open line of communication is important for honesty, trust, and respect. But communication is more than effectively verbalizing, expressing or writing out details, feelings, important information. Communication also encompasses listening as an effective way of taking part in a conversation. We can be as detailed as possible with our words but if no one is listening, if we as parents are not listening the entire conversation is mute.

I learned the hard way with my kids. I was too busy trying to make sure that they heard what I had to say. Are you listening to me? Did you hear me? Listen to what I am telling you. At that moment I knew what the problem was with my communication, I was too busy talking and not listening. I was able to take a step back, sit down with my son and tell him that I was there for him and I was there to listen to him.

By asking my son questions about him, his day, his life, his likes; I was able to gain a lot of insight into his brain and how he feels. I also opened a new door with the boy, he began to open up to me more and talk to me more about how he would be bothered by events and situations. I realized how much I was missing by not listening. I also realized how close we became, he began to ask for me again to tuck him in at night, to read to him, all things he wanted in his dad most recently. I was glad to know that I was able to ground myself, eat a bit of crow for not communicating effectively with my children, and get back to being the mother I needed to be for my children.

Everyday we do the best we can by our children, by our spouses or significant others, we try to do the right thing for ourselves. By realizing we weren't listening to others we realize that we may not have been listening to ourselves, our needs, to what we may have been saying to ourselves. What are your kids saying to you? What are you listening to; their needs, your needs, how can we become better listeners?