Extraordinary Tuesday: Two for Tuesday

Welcome everyone to Two for Tuesday. I am Karie from The Five Fish and I post every Tuesday about parenting and life discussions and how we can balance out the role being a parent and being an individual as well as finding a balance with ourselves and with our children.

Pressures of being a mom surmount each and every day. The outside world, the inside world, the pressures from ourselves as we try to be the best mother, parent, woman we can be in our lives. We try to meet and exceed invisible standards of what would be the model of perfection for parents. Where exactly are these written laws and standards that we so desperately try to match?

Unfortunately society seems to set the standards for perfection in parenting. The norm would be to fall into these quoted perfections, seemingly unattainable but we shoot for them, ever so the result ends in personal discourage, resentment, and frustration. The second unfortunate event in the failing quest is what our children see, learn, feel, acknowledge based on our outward actions no matter how we attempt to shelter them.

As a parent and child I know the feelings of angst, pain, frustration of trying to be the best parent possible and model child to appease my parents. Providing for our children despite limited resources, doing what we think is best by them, and then as the child I see that parents are sometimes too preoccupied to see that children do not always want the material items, they do not always want what is best. Simple always seems to be best. A hug. A book reading. Recognizing pain in a child and listening to their feelings, the ails, the troubles, even just listening to how they talk about their day, no matter how mundane their day may seem to us as their day may have been extraordinary just based on what was served for lunch.

Watching my children I see that if they know I am happy just with watching their simple things, simple play, and simply extraordinary moments I feel like I am doing my best as perfect parent. No need to make me happy because I am happy at their sheer joy. But sometimes our children need to hear our happiness, our pleasure, our praise. A note in a lunch box to remind them how much we love them, simply saying how proud you are of them with no attachments or exceptions, spewing unconditional love and praising that they are good kids no matter what can be such a reinforcing tool to tell children they are perfect, with all of their imperfections. Maybe this is not taking kids on THE BEST vacation ever, or buying them the new iPod or the the best clothes, but sometimes the most simple gestures are what make us the perfect parents to our kids.

What are your challenges? Do you find you try to push your kids to hard? Do you push yourself too hard where you feel your child's actions are a reflection of your parenting skills?